


William, Bill, and the Single Currency Note

by whornacia



Category: AKanekh
Genre: 1800, M/M, Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-03-24 10:43:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13809531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whornacia/pseuds/whornacia
Summary: William is an ambitious English Language Scientist, out to decide the names of all the new things in this relatively new country, he is cursed with the need to name things that are nameless, to differentiate the new American English from British English. He has little mind for anything other than this plight. Bill is an affectionate colleague of William that has always been interested in the matter but seems more interested in William rather than the problem at hand. Bill is conflicted, knowing in 1800s America their love would not be understood. He is also constantly frustrated that William never seems to pick up on the advances that Bill makes. Here and now, they are discussing what to name a single currency note of their new money.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The story is set primarily in the year 1800 in a wealthy town on the east coast. All events and timelines are fictional. Realism and accuracy were not what I was going for here.

**Act I Scene I " _The dollar mint?"_**

**Setting** : The year is 1800. A well lit American English Language laboratory on the east side of town, a more affluent area. The lab has several tables, each covered in bottles of various colored liquids in flasks and bottles. Many are boiling or emitting smoke.

**Characters** :

William

Bill

Officer

 

William: O woe is me! [William pulls on his hair] How anyone could live or think in this world without a nomenclature for all these things we are just yet discovering.

 

Bill: [Leaning casually against the lab bench, body language is open toward william] It isn't all that bad William, we’ve all the time in the world to come up with names for the new things in our glorious, relatively new home.

 

William: You misunderstand, we must conjure the names for these things before the damn Brits, we must separate the new American English from the old British English.

 

Bill: Let me help, what is troubling your engorged mind today?

 

William: I just can't think of what to call it, good god above, how could we be cursed with such conundrum! [Looks into Bill’s eyes, Bill is visibly enamoured] I know! I shall call it, the dollar mint, and everyone will trade dollar mints with each other.   
  
Bill: I don’t know, that seems a bit out there, mint is a plant and a candy. Though I do see the connection to currency, I think it may be too wide a stretch. [Bill says this looking at William’s crotch, William does not notice.]

 

William: But think about it, each one is a minted product, each one a unique mint of the design, it's perfect!

 

[A police officer bursts into the lab and shouts]

 

Officer: Sir! We’ve just heard the brits are calling their coinage mint!

 

[Officer rushes back out,slamming the door, inadvertently knocking a “Hang in there” kitten poster from the wall.]

 

William: [Throws everything off the table in a fit of rage] Foiled Again!

 

Bill: [Furtively places his hand on William’s back] It will be ok William, we can think of another word, we will figure out the perfect name for our currency note.

 

William: I tire of this uphill battle, each and every day we fall further from god’s graces. Should we have separated from the English? Perhaps we will never be fully separate. My purpose in life, yet again, unfulfilled.

 

Bill: [Visibly frustrated] The rest of the world is not work, there are other pleasures out there you have yet to explore. People you have yet to meet. [He takes William’s hand in his own] Lovers you have yet to dream with.

 

William: [Still looking at the table before him] I have no time for such frivolous acts of emotion. My life has depth and only accrues meaning from my work. If I cannot come up with the words then no one will. All else is meaningless.

 

Bill: [Unswayed by the challenge his strapping colleague poses he smirks knowingly] I’m sure you will find meaning, if not today then someday.

 

[Curtain falls, End of Scene I]

 

 

 


	2. Act I Scene II "An Ass to Bare"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and a colleague decide to unwind at a bar near the harbor. Bill unloads his feelings and a solution presents itself.

Set: An old pub, cigar smoke lingers in the damp air and the lights are dim. The night is slow and the patrons are drunk or enjoying the peace. The faint sound of a harbor bell rings in the distance.

[The door swings open and enter Bill and a colleague, Bill is enraged]

Bill: Sphincters, Splinters, and Spatula Salesmen. I have done half the work, and received half the compensation I deserve. 

[The door slams as the colleague pulls Bills coat off. The patrons are visibly disturbed by his outburst]

Colleague: What do you mean Bill? You are paid the same wages for the work you and William do. 

Bill: [Scowling at the Colleague] The wage I desire is not of monetary substance. It is of the heart. William gets mountains of satisfaction from his work and what do I get? 

Colleague: [Answering a rhetorical question excitedly] A stiffy?

Bill: No you twat [backhand slap colleague] I get nothing but misery and everlasting sexual frustration! Why can’t he see what I am to him? That I… [Lifts a sleeping patron’s glass and holds it as if it were Yorick's Skull from Hamlet and Bill begins to speak to it] wish to lie with him, as his other half. That I would do anything for him, steal for him, cheat for him, even KILL for him. [Bill tosses the glass against the wall but because of his pussy arms, it just bounces off and lands unharmed on the floor.] My behind needs his attention, but it is just so flat. [He gingerly places his hand onto his rear and lowers his head solemly.]

[The colleague also places their hands on his behind and bows their head as if they were praying over it]

Colleague: [Praying] Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. May you bless Bill with a bountiful ass and bring these two men together. Give Bill the power to persuade William unto it and into it. Give unto us this day our daily cake, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Amen.

[A magical aura began to envelop Bill as god heard their prayer. Suddenly, as if god gave two shits about them and their problems, Bill’s ass began to swell, filling his breeches and providing a suitable match for William’s special member.] Bill jumps up with glee at his new ass, immediately ripping off his pants to show the other patrons. He invites them to slap, punch, and jiggle the newly filled cheeks of his untanned ass. 

Bill: Go on, give it a whirl! 

[The colleague gives it a hard slap, to which Bill’s cheeks jiggle most excellently.]

Bill: Lets see him try and resist this! 

[Bill grabs his coat and runs out of the bar, slamming the door as the lights dim. The curtain falls, End of Scene II]


End file.
